"Always" letter

This is an actual letter an Austin TX wman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi-pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dry-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, Mr. Thatcher, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control, maniacal behavior.

You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...

Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you fu*king kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager. male brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out of your ass, man! If you just have to Slap a moronic message on a maxi-pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best, Wendi Aarons

Jayda's Christmas

So I think Jayda likes her Christmas presents. She tried to wear them all at once. Here are the Tam and Bolero I made her AND the night gown I gave her! Isn't she cute?




Here is a picture of all the grands before the big paper and box explosion. They look so innocent..don't they?

New People

We have so many new people joining our little group!! I can't remember all the names just yet but one stands out.. Please Welcome Addamae Akin who is moving here from Michigan soon. We had a wonderful time chatting with her at knitting and lunch afterwards.
I'm sorry, I'm not very good at remembering names.

What I did on my Oregon Vacation

As you can see.. if you look close.. is Emma, Anthony and I standing and chatting at the Oregon Flock and Fiber Festival in Oregon. Emma, Ginger and I went down together in Gingers Mothers van (more room for fiber). We shared a Motel room. We had a wonderful time. It was probably the last really sunny days of Summer. We got totally burned sitting out Friday and spinning all day.
These are most of the things I bought. Notice the Woolie winder..omg.. love my woolie winder!!

but I can't read polish . . .

Good thing it doesn't matter when it comes to spinning. :)

~Ginger

Missing you all

Sorry I missed you all this Thursday. I hope your scones were good and the conversation hot. Wait, reverse that.

I have given up on the mystery shawl and am focusing on my Cotton Frappe V-neck because I need to get it done before it's too cold to wear the darn thing! I like the yarn - a lot - but I just can't seem to make sweaters at a decent speed because I get bored, I guess. (I think I've made 3 or 4 other items since beginning this project.)

When I see you next week, I hope to be working on the sleeves. OK, let's change this to: I will be working on the sleeves. Maybe that will help.

Deb

Mystery Stole Blues

So, I signed up for this Mystery Stole thing - Ellen made me do it - and, at first, I thought it was cool. But it is s..........l..........o...........w............ going and I'm not sure that I really want to do it. What I do want to do now is spin on the Louët wheel, thanks to some Saturday people who helped me get started! I can't wait to show you my work. WARNING! I won't be in on Thursday morning! I have left strict instructions with the staff that scones are to be ready before you arrive. We'll just have to see what happens. Sorry for letting you down but my kid has an appointment that day and I have to work Stitch 'n Pitch all night.

Deb